31 August 2011

First Boot Camp

Everything hurts. Even here? Yes! What about here? YES!! Even your.... owwwww. yes, cut it out! I don't know what I thought "Boot Camp" fitness class would entail. Maybe a rousing game of duck-duck-goose and some interpretive dance? Nope.

This is part of a "Matt gets un-fat" series of blog posts. Fitness is today's topic. See, I've had this YMCA membership for a while now but I haven't really been using it apart from a few leisurely strolls on a treadmill and partaking of the smoothy bar in the lobby.

Today I decided to suck it up and join a proper class. Originally I was hoping to do early morning yoga but as it turns out, I'm not (yet) a morning person. Boot Camp after work seemed like a nice compromise/punishment for failing to attain my early rising goal.


When choosing goals in a fitness regime, as with anywhere else in life I try to follow the SMART goal-setting system. That is, goals that are (S)pecific,(M)easurable, (A)ttainable, (R)elevant and (T)imely. Yoga was out and Boot Camp was in but I would need to revise the "get up at 6am and bike to yoga" goal. Factoring in elements like being my first class and also what I knew about what to expect I came up with the following SMART fitness goals based on my own core principles:

  1. Stay conscious.
  2. Don't throw up.

Laugh if you want but at least  one of us achieved their goals today. Well, almost. Actually one of them I achieved only by a sliver and the other I gave to myself mostly on a technicality. I won't tell you which is which and leave the rest up to your imagination.

Maybe a sane person would have taken the hint when he pulled a muscle in his knee just getting dressed in the changeroom. A smart man would have questioned his logic while being out of breath climbing the stairs to the gym. Not this man. No sir.


Actually I didn't do too badly. I only had to bow out on three separate occasions: once when my lungs decided that my windpipe wasn't wide enough and twice more when the floaty amoebas started line-dancing across my vision. Next time I'll do better. For now though, everything is in pain.

At the end the instructor said something I'll never forget. I'll use caps because he said it in his shouty voice:


Well now, who feels like a winner?!? ME, that's who!

p.s. for those of you who will inevitably tell me something like "Oh, I took that class and I didn't think it was that bad", you're lucky my mom reads these posts.

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